I can’t believe we’ve been homeschooling for 16 years. That’s more than half our marriage. That’s more years than our youngest has been alive. That’s 2,800 days -- if I count only “official” school days (whatever that means).
Small potatoes compared to the number of days I’ve been a
mom: 10,037 or thereabouts.
That’s a lot of days spent feeding children, shopping for children,
washing clothes for children, cleaning up after children, teaching children,
disciplining children, ferrying children, playing with children.
Of course, our oldest has been on his own for quite a while
now. But our second child, our only girl, has been racking up the milestones
over the last few months. She turned 18, graduated from our homeschool, earned
a scholarship, was admitted to her school of choice, and will be leaving our
home within the next couple of months.
This leaves me with one at home, for a few more years at
least.
I realized a few days ago that we only have about three
years of homeschooling left. Three more years, of having a child in our home.
Three more years, potentially, before we are empty nesters. Less than 2,000
days. And it hit me.
Me time is seriously overrated.
Somehow, the realization that my daily, intentional
opportunities to train up my children are fleeting at best has made me desire
to be with them all the more. Not to stifle them, not to lecture them, not to
guilt them or control them.
I want to use this time to enjoy them, to learn more about
what they enjoy. I want to listen to them, to hear what they think of the world
and other people and our Creator. I want to watch them, to see what God is
doing in their hearts and lives. I want to read with them, to pray with them,
to worship with them, to play with them.
This season will be gone before I blink again. The next
season will be good, as my husband and I live together as two again instead of
two plus three or two or one. But until then, I want to enjoy this sweetly bittersweet
season which the Lord has prepared for me now, while I can.
Not me time, but we time.
So true, Suzanne! I so hear ya on this one! I feel like I have had my hand and head so focused on the plow that I couldn't see the crop! Now the crop is in full bloom and ready to be picked and I'm rejoicing in the harvest...yet, realizing that I would like them to stay on the vine and around the table a little longer! :) Love your heart. Love you guys!
ReplyDeleteThat plow illustration is perfect, Shelley. I know you know just where I am right now, even though you're still full-on homeschooling for a while longer now. Thanks for your encouragement!
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