The Day God Shut My Mouth

The kids must have been about five and seven years old. Their friend, Kayla, was hanging out with us that day. Everything was going smoothly that morning as the kids busied themselves with schoolwork and I tidied the house for our church's Bible study that evening. And then lunch happened.

I'd warmed up ravioli  for the kids and served the girls first. Then, as I brought Jared's bowl to him, he unexpectedly raised up in his chair. His little blonde head collided hard with my hand and the bowl went flying, showering ravioli and sauce everywhere.

It was one of those moments in life where everything seems to move in slow motion. I'm sure I saw the sauce adhering to the table, to the floor, to the wall (and to the quilt hanging there) -- and maybe even to the kids. But what struck me most was that my children's eyes didn't follow the ravioli or the bowl. They both looked wide-eyed at me. They were waiting for the hammer to fall, for me to express my exasperation with Jared for rising when he did, for the great inconvenience this would cause in my day -- didn't they know I would have to spend my precious time cleaning this up so that things would look nice before our church family came over to do spiritual things with us?

Those eyes. In that moment, I was convicted of my selfishness, my impatience, my exasperation. I realized that this was just an accident; no one set out to create more work for poor mom. And in that moment, I realized that my children were waiting for an explosion of sorts. Not a yelling mess (I don't think), but more of an angry guilt trip. They could already see it building on my face.

I repented in my heart, right then and there. I don't remember exactly how it all went down, but I think I was calm. I think I took a deep breath and said, "It's okay." I think I simply cleaned up the table area and served Jared a fresh bowl, then set out to clean up the rest of the mess.

Do you know what was most convicting to me that day? I was most convicted by the fact that I was initially more willing to withhold my anger because I didn't want my best friend's daughter to see me that way. Pride: I had an image to guard. But then, in the slow motion of the moment, I realized that if I could find enough self control to do that, I could find the self control to guard my children's hearts, as well. And while I was at it, I could recognize the difference between a childish accident and deliberate rebellion requiring discipline. In this situation, the only one acting in rebellion was me. So I repented, right there in the space of just about 10 seconds.

The Ravioli Incident still comes up occasionally in our family reminiscences. It's told as a humorous story and one of mom triumphing over the ravioli stains. But I know better. I know that the bigger triumph was over my tongue and my heart, and even over my mind as I submitted to the Lord in that moment.

And I'm still thankful that God taught me a big lesson in those short seconds, an unseen moment turned to His glory.

Review: Do More Better

I always considered myself to be a reasonably organized and productive person. Many years ago, while working in the PR department of a Christian college, I was introduced to a jam-up time management system. I loosely followed and adapted it for the rest of my working-outside-the-home career. But almost twenty years ago, when I became a stay-at-home and sometime part-time work-at-home mom, all of that organization (and the accompanying productivity) seemed to fly out the window.

In hindsight, I don't think the problem was so much a lack of organization or productivity. It was likely more a lack of understanding of my new role and priorities. What's more, my working environment and responsibilities had been fairly controlled and regular. Predictable even. This new career field, not so much.

It wasn't so much that I lacked structure (although I probably did). A new system wasn't the immediate answer.
What I needed was a clearer understanding of my role and responsibilities as a wife and mother. And, because the dual jobs of wife and mother are somewhat fluid, I'm still working on that.

Do More Better by Tim Challies is helping.

Before going into the nuts and bolts of organizing life, Challies walks you through evaluating your life. The goal isn't just to do more, to get more done. It's to get more of the right things done.

Productivity is effectively stewarding your gifts, talents, time, energy, and enthusiasm for the good of others, and the glory of God. Productivity calls you to direct your whole life at this great goal of bringing glory to God by doing good for others.

 I like that. I'm good at being busy, but, "Busyness is a tricksy little fish." It's easy to fool ourselves into thinking we're productive for the Kingdom just because we're busy. The difficult thing is to figure out what God wants us to do for the Kingdom in our little circle and focus on being productive there. "God calls you to be productive for His sake, not your own."

This book is readable, at only 120 pages. It's practical, walking you through not only determining your priorities, but setting up systems to carry them out. It's biblical, helping you see your to-do list from God's perspective (and reminding you that "Only God gets his to-do list done.").

I've read the book through, and now I look forward to the harder work of implementing what I've learned. (One way I'm doing this is by participating in 10 Days of Productivity. Care to join me?)


I requested and received a copy of this book in exchange for an impartial review. This post contains affiliate links.

Dancing with our daughters

A friend recently shared a podcast on Facebook with these questions: “This REALLY spoke to my heart today. Are we raising our daughters to think of marriage as plan A; career/education as plan B? Is this biblical thinking?” She followed up by asking me (and several other women) for our thoughts on it. I thought I’d share my response here, in hopes it might spark some conversation and encourage some of you.

Jen, I’m not sure if/when I’ll have time to listen to that podcast, so I don't know what direction they went with it. But I can share my own thoughts on this topic with you.

First, the term “Plan B” in this scenario has always rubbed me the wrong way, at least since I came into an understanding of God’s sovereignty. While I do believe in being prudent, this makes it sound as though God has given a young woman a desire to be a stay-at-home-wife/mom, yet she may need to venture outside of this plan just in case God doesn’t come through. That may not be what is intended, but it kind of comes across that way.

So here’s what I think. If a young lady has a God-given desire to be a stay-at-home-wife/mom, encourage that. As you encourage that, knowing that fulfillment of that desire may be deferred indefinitely, also encourage her to pursue development of her God-given gifts and abilities. If she has a creative bent, help her to explore many different expressions of that bent. If she is good with children, either formally teaching or informally caring/nurturing them, help her to explore that. This young lady may be interested in science, math, mountaineering, literature – help her to explore. This exploration may or may not include college or formal training. All the while, continue to also train her in the home arts, as they’ll likely be needed whatever path she follows. I think (and I’ve probably been guilty of this) some parents are afraid that if their daughter pursues a college degree or the like, she will desire to become a career woman and abandon any thought of being a SAHM for their grandchildren. For homeschoolers, especially, this can have very scary implications!

Here’s what these parents are forgetting. This beautiful young woman is a masterpiece of our Creator. He made her, He numbers her days, He holds her. Only He can direct her heart. We are stewards of the gift of our children, but as they get older, our stewarding influence must lessen and they must begin to steward their own lives. This is hard. I hate to break it to the parents of toddlers out there, but raising young adults is the hardest work you’ll ever do. It’s probably not as hard physically, but it is much harder emotionally and spiritually. It’s heart work, and it’s a dance. I don’t know that I’ll ever figure out all the steps to this dance (the rhythm changes so often!). But I’m thankful to know Who has all of these steps planned out.

I am case in point.

When I was in high school, I set some lofty goals for myself. I had a strong aversion to any kind of secretarial work. I wanted to be Vice President of a corporation (with a male secretary, no less). I worked to earn a full-ride scholarship to a university in my state. I was on my way.

But then God intervened in the form of a great humbling and a God-chasing young man.

As I worked my way through my freshman year, it was such a struggle. College coursework didn’t come as easily to me as high school, but it was also harder to put my heart into it. Much of it seemed irrelevant to me, and some was downright offensive (such as the pornographic film played for my health class). But I buckled down and persevered. In December, that young man shared with our church that he was feeling a calling to full-time ministry and, in February, we were engaged. I struggled through that second semester, explored changing my major from marketing to… what? In the end, I pursued a backward transfer to a local community college with the end goal of completing an Associate’s degree (which I did do, after we were married). It was very humbling, and it took God changing my heart for me to relinquish my plan to follow His.

Guess what job I held during our engagement? Yup. I became a secretary. At my church (best job I ever had). Guess what job I held while Jeff was pursuing seminary degrees? Yup. Secretary again.

It wasn’t really until we began thinking about having a second child that I felt a real yearning to be a stay-at-home-wife/mom. God has provided a way for me to follow this new career (in some really amazing ways, actually). And those secretarial skills have served me well in not only assisting my husband in his work, but have also helped me earn income through several work-from-home jobs over the years.

You know, for many of my growing up years, my mother was a SAHM. In fact, she was the penultimate SAHM, a real Proverbs 31 woman – cooked from scratch, made clothes for us, made our home feel like home. She did occasionally work outside the home as well; even then, we knew that her focus remained on us, her family. When my heart was turned homeward, I had a great example to follow. The Lord had provided that, as well.

Talk with your daughter, model for your daughter, release her to explore, and trust God with her steps. Dance with her and enjoy this season of life.

Me time, or...

I can’t believe we’ve been homeschooling for 16 years. That’s more than half our marriage. That’s more years than our youngest has been alive.  That’s 2,800 days -- if I count only “official” school days (whatever that means).

Small potatoes compared to the number of days I’ve been a mom: 10,037 or thereabouts.

That’s a lot of days spent feeding children, shopping for children, washing clothes for children, cleaning up after children, teaching children, disciplining children, ferrying children, playing with children.

Of course, our oldest has been on his own for quite a while now. But our second child, our only girl, has been racking up the milestones over the last few months. She turned 18, graduated from our homeschool, earned a scholarship, was admitted to her school of choice, and will be leaving our home within the next couple of months.

This leaves me with one at home, for a few more years at least.

I realized a few days ago that we only have about three years of homeschooling left. Three more years, of having a child in our home. Three more years, potentially, before we are empty nesters. Less than 2,000 days. And it hit me.

Me time is seriously overrated.

Somehow, the realization that my daily, intentional opportunities to train up my children are fleeting at best has made me desire to be with them all the more. Not to stifle them, not to lecture them, not to guilt them or control them.

I want to use this time to enjoy them, to learn more about what they enjoy. I want to listen to them, to hear what they think of the world and other people and our Creator. I want to watch them, to see what God is doing in their hearts and lives. I want to read with them, to pray with them, to worship with them, to play with them.

This season will be gone before I blink again. The next season will be good, as my husband and I live together as two again instead of two plus three or two or one. But until then, I want to enjoy this sweetly bittersweet season which the Lord has prepared for me now, while I can.

Not me time, but we time.

Where are the older women?

Every now and then, I come across something on another blog that's just too good not to share. When I saw Brian Croft's post on Practical Shepherding this morning, I knew that those who might benefit most from what he had written might not even see it since Brian's target audience is pastors.

Here's the post -- read it first then come back here for just a little more on subject.

Our family has visited the church Brian pastors, and it's full of young moms -- moms eager to serve, grow, and teach their children the importance of faith and the local church. It's easy to see why this subject would be on Brian's mind.

And his post brought to my mind a question that I've been asked so often in the churches where my husband has served: Where are the older women? This was asked by younger women who desired to be mentored, but often found the older women to be either disengaged or disinterested.

Ladies, here are some women with so much to teach, so much to share... but chances are, no one is asking them. These are women with so much left to give, and such a need to receive. These are often the forgotten saints in our churches, offered fellowship only with those in their own age group.

Recently, our family had the opportunity for a lengthy time of fellowship with an older congregation in the Highlands of Scotland. One of the members, a 93-year-old woman, fascinated us with impromptu stories of God's working in her life through faith-building tragedies. And yet, as she stood before us, the joy of the Lord clearly lit her face. We were challenged in our own faith even as we joined in her joy.

I hope you'll take this pastor's exhortation to heart. And when you do, I believe you'll not only bless someone, but you and your children will be blessed, as well.

Update: Brian followed up with a post on how to practically reach out to these older women. I hope you'll check it out and give it a try!

Review: Three Decades of Fertility

When I received my Kindle copy of Three Decades of Fertility: Ten Ordinary Women Surrender to the Creator and Embrace Life for review, I really had no expectations. As a woman at the tail-end of three decades of fertility, I simply thought it might be an interesting read.

The main body of the book consists of the first-person stories of ten different Christian women, ranging in age from forty-three to fifty-five. As each story unfolds, we learn how marriage, family, and love for the Lord transformed these woman. After telling her story, each woman's answers to a survey on childbearing are shared.

The book closes with two bonus chapters on keeping our bodies healthy during the childbearing years. One is written by a doctor and deals with maintaining the physical structure of the body, the other is written by a an amateur herbalist and deals with nutrition.

The positives:

• As a mother, I found myself drawn into many of these women's lives as they dealt with various aspects of pregnancy and motherhood, including miscarriage and adoption. 
• It was obvious that each woman desired to honor God through her testimony, even as she shared her struggles and failures along the way.
• The bonus chapters include numerous links for further information, including tips that even a woman in my stage of life might find helpful.

The negatives:

• This book is written from a "full quiver" perspective. While I realize the book was not intended to explain this perspective, I did find myself desiring a more complete biblical explanation of this presupposition since it was an integral part of each woman's story.
• In one woman's story, her life seemed to be transformed when she began attending church and a ladies' group, but I did not read any mention of salvation. I felt a gospel opportunity may have been missed here.
• I was a bit troubled by the perspective on miscarriage shared in one chapter, "What if miscarriage was God's means of showing mercy and love on a human soul, and if He chose you to be the honored vehicle to usher that child into eternity?" (Quote by Doug Phillips, shared by Carmon.)
• I have to admit that I was somewhat disappointed to find that the chapter on nutrition was written by a 32-year-old amateur herbalist. She provides lots of information, but most of the references she provides point you to her own blog or book.

I think this is a book that will be enjoyed immensely by those sharing a full quiver viewpoint. For many of the rest of us, while we may enjoy sharing in the sisterhood of maternity with these women through these stories, questions will be raised and remain unanswered.


Cross Focused Reviews provided me with a copy of this book in exchange for a review; however, the views stated here are my own. This review has also been posted on Amazon.com and Goodreads. This post contains affiliate links. 

Review: Palooza Packs

About ten years ago, I had the privilege of meeting one of the most contagiously energetic and upbeat women I've ever known. At that time, she was a newlywed working hard on getting a brand new business off the ground (which she did, with great success). Over the years, I watched as she worked hard, feathered her nest, encouraged women, and began raising children. But the one thing that continually drew me to Ann Marie was her genuine joy and love for the Lord. Everything in her life seemed to be an outpouring of that.

Now, all these years and five kids later, she and her family are launching another business together. When I found out what she was doing, I asked her if I could see it for myself and share it with some little friends. Here's the low-down.

First, here's a description of the concept, taken from Palooza Package's Facebook Page:   FUN, Educational SCIENCE and ART Packages integrated with Biblical Truth! For kids ages 4-10 complete with all supplies included for hours of engaging, creative fun! Themes Change EVERY month! Come Discover, Explore, Believe and Create with us! Each month, the company offers a different seasonal or theme based kits with lots of projects. The kit comes with everything you need, as well as teaching guides that will help you make this much more than just another crafty project for your child.

I received April's Spring into Motion Palooza Packet, which arrived in a box. When I opened the box, I found what reminded me of a party bag -- it was a large plastic bag lined with bright tissue paper, tied with colorful ribbon (like those in the picture above).  I love this packaging -- it's not only fun, but it keeps the kids from immediately seeing all the goodies inside (and digging right in)!

I opened that bag to find another bag containing a set of color-and-number-coded Learn Cards with matching project bags.

It's easy to locate the exact supplies for each project, as they are separately bagged and labeled with the appropriate project number and color.

My friend, Kathy, agreed to test-drive the Spring In Motion Palooza package with her kids. She's only made it through a few of the projects so far -- there are so many! -- but she and the kids had a great time.

Josiah and Sarah enjoyed working their projects, and Kathy appreciated that all of the supplies were right there for her, including instructions and a biblical truth to teach.

And they enjoyed using their projects, too -- I don't think they even realized that they were continuing to learn!

Here's what Kathy had to say about her Palooza Package:

Spring into Motion Palooza Package has been a blast! It has been so handy to reach in the bag and pick a project for the day as well as helping this busy Mom stay on task of enriching/teaching my kiddos during these busy Spring days! The kids come to ME asking what they can do next! My favorite part of the packs is how every project teaches us something about our Wonderful God...it is a Win-Win!!

The Palooza Package website will be up soon, but in the meantime you can get more info at the Palooza Package Facebook page -- check out them out on Pinterest, too!   To place an order or ask a question, contact Ann Marie here.

Reflections on A Mother's Prayer | Kristyn Getty

I'm happy to have a very special guest on the blog today as Kristyn Getty shares her perspective on dealing with the joys and fears of becoming a mother. And Kristyn has graciously provided a couple of surprises at the end of this post -- happy Mother's Day!

In the spring of 2008 I first prayed for a baby, and in the spring of 2011 God answered that prayer with the birth of our beautiful daughter.  My joy was full but so were the fears I wrestled.  In some ways I felt like a baby Christian again, caught in a whirlwind of emotions, learning and applying what I have known and trusted into a completely new life - I know I'm definitely not the first to feel that!  

Friends of ours had given us a card when their first son was born; it was full of prayer requests for his little life, a prayer for every day of the month. My prayers were not quite as coherent as those, especially at first, but the urgency of the moment drove me to my knees.  “Help her, help me” baby prayers at 3am; prayers as I heard the baby monitor light up in the morning; prayers when I thought of her safety, her soul, her future; prayers  with my husband; prayers while Eliza listened in.

When people found out that I was pregnant one of the most frequent comments I received was how my creativity would discover a whole new vista of inspiration as I became a mother.  So, when Eliza came I was anticipating a fresh flow of profound poetic thought, but instead I was swept up in the constant flow of changes and feedings and “Old MacDonald had a farm!” I was expecting full sentences, but I was blubbering looking at my beautiful girl! I actually wondered if I'd ever be able to write again.  I just about tucked some thoughts away to ponder later when my brain would start to fit itself back together again (still nowhere near a completed process!). As I continued to learn the wonderful balancing act and privilege of mothering, homemaking, writing, traveling and singing, Keith and I began to write a song for Eliza choosing this theme of praying for her, and the end result was “A Mother's Prayer.”

My parents have faithfully prayed for me my whole life, and I remember when I was younger my mum met with other mums to pray for all their children – a “Moms in Touch” group in Belfast. Even just the knowledge of that helped me, and I want Eliza to know we are praying for her and trying to guide her in this context that reaches to the call and purpose of her whole life and an understanding of the Lord's grace and faithfulness. We're now in the toddler stage and some of the prayer needs are shifting.  We wanted the song to reflect the different seasons - ones we had discovered and then those still to come.  We also wrote it to remind us of our promise to pray for her through all the years we're given.  We hope this song for her – and even more our praying for her – might catch her ear and help guide her heart as she grows up.

Here's the video for A Mother's Prayer:

If you enjoyed this song and would like to share it, use the link below to send it as a special Mother's Day card. Your recipient will receive your special e-card, the video and the lyrics. And to thank you for sharing, you'll receive 15% off any order from Getty Music.

Send a free Mother's Day e-card

  

Things I've learned since moving to Indiana...

This born-in-Texas-raised-in-Arizona girl never dreamed she'd be living in Kentuckiana (the local nickname for the greater Louisville area that extends across the Ohio River into Southern Indiana). But here I am, and I'm glad to be here. Here are just a few things I'm learning along the way.

This is a beautiful part of the country. And because we live on the outskirts of town, we enjoy a kitchen-window view of rolling hills covered with trees that are becoming more colorful every day. We're surrounded by farmland, and the wildlife love it as much as we do.

It's colder here. When fall comes to Southern Indiana, it comes in with a bang. As in dig out the sweaters and sock liners that I normally don't wear until December or January.

In fact, there's quite a variety in the weather here. Over the past few days, it's dropped ten degrees each day, but is expected to be back in the high seventies early next week. I'm not sure when we'll be packing up the summer clothes.

Because of the cold, fall comes earlier here. We were actually able to wear fall-appropriate attire when we made our annual October trek in search of pumpkins and apples. In Georgia, we tried to dress fall-like, but usually stripped off the outer layers by lunchtime.

I'll probably be chastised from both sides for this one, but White Castle really is almost exactly like Krystal. I could discern little difference between a Double Krystal and a Double Slider, and I may like White Castle's crinkly fries better. But I'll probably never try the Chicken Rings. And we are still without In-N-Out Burger.

On the whole, folks are friendly here. Neighbors spoke to us as we moved in, the grocery clerks are easy to chat with, even the fellow who loaded my garbage can into the car welcomed us to the area. It did take a few days to realize that it wasn't really my husband's name plastered all over, but the nickname for our town!

Homeschooling is awesome. Okay, I didn't just learn this since moving here, but I'm appreciating it anew. I love that we can load up our books and travel down to the seminary to work while Jeff is in meetings. And I love that we can take family outings during the week while everyone else is at work or school. And I love being involved in this part of my children's lives.

Moves are a bonding experience for our family. We've bonded in the car, over boxes, exploring our new community, and restarting our daily routine. Even as we seek to serve others outside our family, we find ourselves refocusing on strengthening our family. And we learning anew to depend on the Lord.

Comfort food: Anna's Custard Pie

I've felt under the weather for the last few days due to a stubborn kidney stone, I'm missing my girly (did I really agree for her to be out-of-reach for two whole weeks?), and it was just time. Past time.

Time to bake.

So I made my mom's custard pie today. When I find myself missing her, too, it helps to think WWAD (What Would Anna Do)? And when the going got tough, Anna baked. Now she could bake just about anything -- all from scratch, thank you -- but my favorite non-chocolate dessert she made was her custard pie. And it's one of just a handful of her baking recipes that I can consistently duplicate.  (Besides there's just something special about using a recipe that's in my mom's own handwriting.)

You'll notice that the recipe says to use a rotary beater. I have many fond memories of my mom's rotary beater and wish I had it now. I remember waking to the sound of her making pancakes or waffles with that rotary beater so many mornings... Anyway, I just use a handheld mixer on low.

A quick confession: I don't make pie crust. I gave up trying long ago. Mama's pie crust was unique and so good, but I never could get the hang of "a handful of this and a pinch of that, then just play with it until it feels right." And I don't have her heavy metal pie tins, the best thing in the world to bake pies in (I wonder if Brenda got those?). But other than that, I think I do justice to Anna's Custard Pie.

{09/18/16 update: I did eventually learn to make a decent pie crust thanks to The Barefoot Contessa's recipe and a sassy red KitchenAid food processor I won from a food blogger's giveaway!)


Anna's Custard

1) Preheat oven to 450 degrees (will be turned down later)

2) Slightly roll one refrigerated pie crust, and place in 9" pie plate, crimping edge (or, if you want to show off, make your own crust)

3) In mixing bowl, beat 4 eggs slightly with rotary beater: 

4) Then beat in:

2/3 c sugar
1/2 t salt
1/4 t nutmeg (if you can grate fresh, it's amazing!)
2-2/3 c scalding hot milk*

5) Pour into uncooked pie shell. Bake at 450 degrees for 15 minutes, then at 350 degrees to finish -- about 25-30 more minutes.

Anna says: "Bake just until a silver knife inserted into side of filling comes out clean. Center may look a bit soft."

 Let it cool before cutting; store covered in refrigerator.

*On the scalding milk... I just put 2-2/3 c milk into a 4 cup glass measure, then microwave in 1 minute increments until very hot but not boiling. I think it took 3-1/2 to 4 minutes today. My highly scientific method of testing the temperature is to quickly stick the tip of my very-clean finger into the milk. If it's not just warm but hot, I consider it ready.

Oh, and by the way, don't substitute one of those low-cal fake sugars for the white sugar. It doesn't work. I didn't realize this until about the third Christmas I had made the sugar-free version for a friend and tasted a piece after a meal. Looked like custard pie, tasted like humble pie. Repeat after me: "Sugar is my friend; I'll just cut a smaller slice."


Shared on:

 The Feathered Nest

Must See Movie: October Baby

My daughter did something sweet for me today. She took me to see October Baby.

Without giving anything away, October Baby is the story of a young woman who discovers that she is not only adopted, but is the survivor of a botched abortion. The story is based on the true story of Gianna Jessen, a young woman who is a third trimester abortion survivor.

I don't really keep up with what's coming to our local theatre (with the exception of The Hunger Games, because my children gave me an up-to-date daily countdown), so I didn't really know about October Baby until someone, possibly Al Mohler, talked about it -- or at least talked about a New York Times review  by Jeannette Catsoulis. In Ms. Catsoulis' opinion, the movie has an "essential ugliness at its core" and "communicates in the language of guilt and fear." During an integral scene of the movie, when an eyewitness explained to the abortion survivor exactly what had happened, Ms. Catsoulis decried the testimony, stating that it "conjures a vision of medical hackery that is clearly intended to terrify young women — and fits right in with proposed state laws that increasingly turn the screws on a woman’s dominion over her reproductive system."

Well, I knew right then that I wanted to see the movie. I'm so glad I did.

When I was pregnant with my third child, I was thirty five years old. My medical insurance chose my doctor for me and, to be honest, I don't even remember his name. I do remember that he was from Taiwan. Throughout the pregnancy, my doctor requested all sorts of tests -- mostly because of my advanced age. With each request, I would ask him what they would do if the test came back positive, and each time he said they would do nothing except let me know. I declined each test. When it came time for a 20 week ultrasound, the doctor seemed surprised that I happily accepted the opportunity. He gravely told me that once I had seen the baby on the ultrasound, this would be my last opportunity to terminate the pregnancy. "Here, we are not allowed to end the pregnancy past 20 weeks, but where I come from, we can terminate anytime during the pregnancy. But after 20 weeks, it is much harder; the baby fights, it wants to live." My husband and I sat there, aghast, jaws dropped at this admission.

During this time, we were a low-income family, truly struggling to get by. My husband was working three jobs and working on a graduate degree; I was keeping the home fires burning while homeschooling and working a part-time job. Mine was a high risk pregnancy, both because of my age and medullary sponge kidney issues that always escalated during pregnancy. During my second pregnancy, kidney stones caused a level of anemia that almost required a late-term transfusion, and I was passing stones at an alarming rate during this last pregnancy.We would never have dreamed, however, of aborting the fetus or terminating the pregnancy, both euphemisms for killing the child that God had given us. He was born a few weeks early, my November baby.


Euphemisms are interesting things. One euphemism that is frequently tossed around is reproductive freedom. Reproductive freedom has nothing to do with a woman's freedom to reproduce. It has everything to do with a woman wanting the freedom to deproduce. But behavior has consequences, whatever your choice. (I wrote a very personal story about consequences resulting from another woman's decision here.)

I appreciated how this movie dealt fairly and accurately with the consequences of abortion, even a botched abortion in which the baby survives. And I loved how it dealt with guilt, despair, forgiveness, and love in the lives of all those affected by this one abortion. (By the way, if you do watch the movie, be sure to stay through the credits. Another amazing story is told there.)

My daughter did something sweet for me today. She took me to see October Baby. I hope you and your daughter will see it together, too.

Bugs, busyness, and blogs...

It's been a busy week.

First I was busy being sick, then I was busy getting well. Lots of other stuff happened, too, but I laid low through most of it.

I found a few online things especially meaningful this week: 

• Newborn seized in Hospital by Police, Social Workers (Where is the mainstream media's concern about women's health now?)
• The Mega Millions Lottery is a Suicidal Craze (Sometimes I wish Piper would just say what he thinks!)
• An Unexpected Joy (Knowledge of God's sovereignty brings great contentment and joy.)
• Michele's CaringBridge (Both Jeff and his brother, Kevin, are matches to donate bone marrow; now it's up to the doctors to decide)

Looking forward to a good day in the Lord tomorrow as our family worships and fellowships with friends a bit north of us...

He is Risen: sharing with our children

This post was originally posted in 2011, but I thought it was worth sharing again for Easter this year.

Easter has always been an important holiday at our house -- in fact, it's probably the most important holiday we celebrate all year! Through the years, we've tried to find ways to communicate the truth of our Lord's death and resurrection to our children. With our first, we used modified Easter baskets for a while; instead of candy in those plastic eggs, we'd insert Bible verses about Easter. And he would get a special gift, such as a children's Bible or special book. By the time our other two children came along, we were looking for another way to give them a good picture of Easter.


I wish I could remember who shared the concept and recipe for Resurrection Cookies with me; I do know it was while we were out at The Master's Seminary (undergoing our own transformation). By making these cookies with your children, you are able to share with them a bit of Christ's suffering, the grief of his followers, and the joy of finding the empty tomb. Click on the link and enjoy a sweet time of gospel story-telling with your family!


Photo: For those of you not from the South, the photo is a lovely dogwood tree in Cartersville, Georgia. We enjoy the lovely blooms in spring, fresh green leaves in summer, bright foliage in fall, and a unique silhouette in winter. Here's a little tree humor from my son: How do you know if a tree is a DOGwood? By its bark! :-)

How do I detox a dog?

 We've been staying with my hubby's folks for about a month now, helping out as Dad recovers from a major surgery and also trying to figure out what our next step is. Now that our children are older and more self-sufficient, one concern we always have regarding a move is The Dog. Will there be enough room for The {somewhat large} Dog? Will other people involved mind The {somewhat social} Dog?

Thankfully, this transition has gone very smoothly in all ways, including The Dog. In fact, we've already been informed that we cannot take The Dog with us when we leave this home, wherever we go. We can leave, and we can take the grandkids, but we must leave The Dog. Like that's going to happen.

But now I'm afraid that even The Dog is turning. One evening, the physical therapist was stopping by for Dad's discharge visit. I thought it would just be simplest for The Dog to be in the backyard to avoid any initial barking or later slobbering all over our visitor, so I told The Dog to come on outside. Instead of jumping up and immediately obeying as she normally does, she just laid there and looked at me. So I spoke again more firmly. She stood up this time, but really didn't make a move. "Bella, come here," I said sternly. The Dog looked right at me, then walked over to Mom's chair and sat down next to her, as if to say, "Grandma won't let you make me go outside."

The Dog did go outside, eventually, with more commands from me (and snickering from my in-laws). But it was a bit surprising to me that she figured out the whole grandparent-grandchild dynamic on her own and how to make it work in her favor.

Detox is comin', baby, just wait and see.

Saving face

So my soon-to-be-sixteen-year-old daughter announced the other day that she would like this for her birthday:

Can't fault a girl for wanting a practical little gadget like this, right?

Then, today, I stopped by Make It and Love It and found they are giving this away:

Wouldn't it be cool if I could win this for my girly's 16th birthday? But I'd be happy if you won, instead, so feel free to hop on over and enter to win, too!

Journey in Faith

I follow a fair number of blogs, so on any given day I'll have maybe twenty blogs rolling through my Google Reader window. But one really caught my eye this morning. Especially since I personally know this blogger, and the post was titled A Very Rough Day.

Yes, it was. As a mother, and the mother of a fifteen-year-old girl, I've always been touched by Sarah's story. But today, it grabbed me. It grabbed me in two ways.

First, this is a family I know and love. When our family first moved to the Atlanta area and joined the local homeschool group, Heather was one of the first ladies to encourage me. As we crossed paths over the years on field trips, moms' nights out, and holiday parties, Heather always greeted me with a smile and spent a few moments catching up with me. I always admired Heather's bright outlook. But through Sarah's illness and treatment, I've seen a new side of Heather. I've seen her faith, her dependence on God, her eagerness to give Him the glory in all things. I've seen her reach out to other families in the midst of her own pain and struggles. Often, when Heather would post prayer requests, many of them would be for other families they met during treatment. I know that all of this was part of Heather's life before; I'm just thankful that I've been able to see it (from a distance, through blog posts) as it has shone through the trials she has faced over the last several years. And I see Sarah just following her mother's example in such a sweet way.

Second, it caused me to be grateful for where God has me today. I am so glad for the time I have with my family (as opposed to the big career I had planned). I'm thankful for God's provision for our family, especially during this time of transition. I have opportunities to serve and minister each day. I'm reminded daily that God desires my faithfulness, he desires that I reflect His faithfulness.

I don't think any of us will ever really understand all of the reasons why young Sarah has had to face cancer. But we can be certain that God does have a purpose (Romans 8:28). And I know what it has done in my life.

Introducing... Emily at Jones Design Company

One of the neat things about the internet is that it seems to have shrunk the world. I've enjoyed getting to know women from around the country through their blogs, and I'll like to introduce a few of them to you over the next few weeks. I've only met one of these ladies in person, but these are all women who have inspired me in one way or another. I hope you'll enjoy getting to know them. Be sure to stop by their blogs, too!

Emily Jones is a wife and mother of four who somehow finds time to create really pretty things. On her blog, Jones Design Company, Emily shares her love of beautiful things with us (literally – I’m talking nice monthly giveaways) along with home projects, recipes, and snippets of her life. Check out Emily’s shop here (aren’t the Scripture art prints wonderful?).

Please share your job description in 25 words or less.   

WIFE . MOMMY . GRAPHIC DESIGNER . ARTIST . BLOGGER . WRITER . DREAMER.

What is the most challenging part of your job?

BALANCING WORK TIME WITH MOMMY TIME. I LOVE MY FOUR LITTLE ONES, BUT GET SO MUCH PERSONAL FULFILLMENT OUT OF CREATING THAT SOMETIMES IT IS HARD TO KNOW WHEN TO LET GO AND JUST PLAY WITH MY KIDS.  AND KEEPING UP WITH EMAIL CAN BE CHALLENGING.

What is the most rewarding part of your job?  

I FIND IT HUMBLING AND SO FLATTERING THAT I AM ABLE TO JUST DO WHAT I LOVE {WHETHER CREATING ART PRINTS, EXPRESSING MY THOUGHTS OR SHARING A PROJECT HOW-TO} AND BE ABLE TO INSPIRE OTHER WOMEN THROUGH IT. THE COMMENTS FROM LADIES WHO HAVE DISCOVERED A CREATIVITY INSIDE OF THEM THEY NEVER KNEW THEY HAD AND CREDIT ME WITH INSPIRING IT ARE ALWAYS SUCH AN ENCOURAGEMENT TO ME.

What is your favorite room in your home? (and please tell us why) 

I AM GLAD TO SAY THAT I HAVE A FEW FAVORITE ROOMS IN OUR HOME. WE HAVE WORKED HARD TO TRANSFORM OUR ORDINARY NEW-CONSTRUCTION HOME INTO A PLACE WITH CHARACTER AND THE RESULTS HAVE REALLY MADE IT FEEL LIKE ‘US’. OUR KITCHEN IS THE MOST USED WITH LOTS OF FAMILY TIME, SO I LIKE IT. THE LIVING ROOM IS COZY AND FULL OF GREAT MEMORIES WITH FRIENDS, SO IT IS MY FAVORITE. OUR DAUGHTER’S NURSERY IS A BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF FEMININITY IN A HOUSEHOLD OF BOYS AND I LOVE THE SPACE THAT WAS CREATED IN THERE. AND MY OFFICE JUST FEELS LIKE ME. IT IS A GREAT PLACE TO CREATE AND BE INSPIRED.

Please share a favorite recipe you’ve cooked or DIY project you’ve done.

ONE OF MY FAVORITE PROJECTS I’VE DONE IS THE PAINTED WALLPAPER IN MY OFFICE. IT IS SUBTLE, BUT INTERESTING AND WAS SO REWARDING TO COMPLETE.

When you are unmotivated, what keeps you going?

DEADLINES! AND SOMETIMES I JUST NEED TO TAKE A BREAK FROM CREATING AND ENJOY THE THINGS THAT OTHERS HAVE CREATED.

What sage advice would you give a young woman today who would like to marry?

MARRIAGE IS WONDERFUL AND FULFILLING, BUT ONE OF THE GREATEST FORMS OF SELF-SACRIFICE. MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH ABOUT SERVING, DESIRING TO BE UNSELFISH IN OUR ACTIONS AND WORDS AND HAVE HAD TO MATURE A LOT IN ORDER TO MAKE OUR HOUSEHOLD  FUNCTION SMOOTHLY. FOR A YOUNG WOMAN WHO WOULD LIKE TO MARRY, I WOULD SAY TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, FIND WAYS TO SERVE OTHERS, DISCOVER YOUR PASSIONS AND MAKE SURE THE MAN YOU CHOOSE IS KIND AND RESPECTFUL.

What were you doing thirty minutes before you answered these interview questions?

CHECKING EMAIL, SHOPPING FOR BIRTHDAY GIFTS ON AMAZON FOR MY ALMOST FOUR-YEAR OLD, DRINKING COFFEE WITH EGGNOG.

What’s your favorite Starbucks drink?

REGULARLY: TALL, DECAF, EXTRA HOT, NONFAT VANILLA LATTE

DURING THE HOLIDAYS: TALL, DECAF, EXTRA HOT, NONFAT EGGNOG LATTE

© Suzanne Jackson 2011.
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